


Fireflies

by Hotaru10join



Series: Fireflies [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crushes, F/M, Female Kurosaki Ichigo, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kurosaki Ichigo has a Twin, Major Original Character(s), Male-Female Friendship, Out of Character, Retelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 10:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24469411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotaru10join/pseuds/Hotaru10join
Summary: My name is Hotaru Kurosaki, I am fifteen years old. I was born on July 15th, same day as my twin brother… My parents said that they would have named him Ichigo, as in "One Who Protects" not like "strawberry."Originally published in 2011.
Relationships: Ishida Uryuu/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Fireflies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767460
Kudos: 3





	1. Ordinary Day

**Author's Note:**

> My... most 'well known' thing. I find her really kinda cringey now but whatever. I had stuff planned but I got burnt out on Bleach and was rightfully called out on just retelling the first chapter of it for chapter 2 of this. I had started to write chapter 4 but that computer that WIP is on is long dead. It's a shame because I really liked what I wrote of it.

_My name is Hotaru Kurosaki, I am fifteen years old. I was born on July 15_ _th_ _, same day as my twin brother…_

_My parents said that they would have named him Ichigo, as in "Number One Hero/Warrior" not like "strawberry."_

_Ichigo died before we came out of the womb, so I constantly feel that emptiness in my life. I miss someone that isn't really there… My parents obviously miss him, but I don't think they feel the pain that I do. I can't help but feel jealous of my little sisters, Karin and Yuzu… both are twins… and they still have each other._

_I wonder what Ichigo is like, and if he's happy up there in heaven… with my mother. I hope he is, and I look forward to meeting him up there one day._

_I love you brother._

**xxx**

It was just another day for Hotaru; wake up, wash face, put on the old' school uniform, punch dad for calling her cute and getting uncomfortably… cuddly with her, eat, then go to school.

Another pattern would begin once she got to school, talk about jack all with Keigo and Mizuiro before class starts, fall asleep during Sciences, borrow Tatsuki's notes, get felt up by Chizuru, eat lunch with the guys on the roof, sleep through Japanese, borrow Inoue's notes, stare at *him* during English, and a bunch of other crap she couldn't be bothered to remember.

"Kurosaki-san!"

This was new.

Inoue ran up to Hotaru, her round face was bright red as she squirmed in her spot. "H-how are you?"

Hotaru blinked, running a hand through her short orange hair, "Okay. What's up with you Inoue?"

The shorter girl blushed furiously, her body fidgeting in her place; Hotaru couldn't help but notice how Orihime's large breasts jiggled slightly, which made her blush. "Ahh… Ummm…. Are you in any clubs or teams, Kurosaki-san?"

"No…"

"Ah! O-of course you aren't… I-I would've noticed you staying after school…"

"Is there anything in particular you wanted to tell me, Inoue? I kinda… need to… go to the sewing club room…"

"Ah! You're interested in the sewing club."

"Err… you could say that."

"M-my friend is in the sewing club!"

Hotaru smiled, placing her hand on Orihime's head, taking note of how soft and luxurious it felt, and then ruffled it. "You're cute, Inoue." She cooed, patting the buxom girl on the head before stuffing her hands into her skirt pockets and running awkwardly in the direction of the sewing club room.

Orihime sighed, pouting a little as she squeezed the note in her slender hands. "I-I wanted to give you this!" She shouted, shoving the crumpled paper in front of her, as if she was practicing.

"!"

Orihime looked up, blinking before gasping at who she saw in front of her. "Ahhh! I'm sorry!"

**xxx**

_Ever since I could remember, I could always feel some weird energy or something. It's really weird; it was some sort of pressure or something when… a ghost or something like that was nearby. I could also see ghosts… but… I never knew if it was just a ghost or a real person._

_Karin and Yuzu don't have any powers like that, my dad seems to encourage it, and from what I remember… my mom didn't have it either._

_I hate it. I hate it so much._

_I wonder how mom is doing._

_And I wonder if Ichigo was born, would he be able to see and feel ghostly things too._

_I feel that weird pressure again._

_I miss you both._

**xxx**

Hotaru glanced into the classroom, her brown eyes staring at the slender boy sitting alone at the desk. She stared in awe at how quick his fingers were, wondering how he didn't stab himself in the fingers with each swift movement. Her knees buckled before she dropped down to the ground, thinking that he had seen her.

She peeked into the class again, seeing one of Inoue's friends, the one with the short brown hair; give the boy a torn pink doll. Hotaru's chocolate eyes widened, her eyes sparkling with wonder as his hands flew through the air and the doll was instantly fixed.

She saw him blink, their eyes catching with each other, she felt her heart and bones melt before another girl whispered into his ear, making the orange haired girl's face burn with jealousy.

"HE DOES IT TO GET CHICKS, DONCHA KNOW HOTARU-CHAN~"

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Hotaru screamed, jumping onto her feet, turning towards the owner of the voice. It was that mother fucker Keigo. "NO HE DOESN'T I'M SURE THAT AHHHHHHH WHY DID YOU FUUUUU."

"Then he's gay."

"I-I don't think he is?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

"I'M NOT ASKING HIM IF HE'S GAY!"

"I'm not. And I'm behind you, Kurosaki and Asano." A new, prettier sounding voice called, sounding obviously annoyed.

Hotaru hesitantly turned, her face cherry red from embarrassment and frustration. She bit her lip, almost to the point where she would break the skin, when she saw the owner of the voice;

Ishida Uryu, looking more pissed and aloof than usual, and at Hotaru Kurosaki. She felt her heart shrinking and breaking into tiny bite sized pieces from one quick glance at those hard blue eyes glaring at her. She looked away from those eyes, seeing his fingers bleeding.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Hotaru then ran in the direction to the shoe lockers, not wanting to look at those eyes anymore.

**xxx**

_What the hell is Ishida's problem?_

_I mean… he never smiles. He's always alone; when I was partnered up with him for a day… he refused to let me do anything and didn't want to talk. At all._

_I understand that I hardly smile… But! At least I talk to people! And not be a complete asshole to them!_

_Oh god why do I keep staring at him. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. He's so pretty and smart and oh fuck…_

… _Not that I like him or anything. Honest._

_I wonder if I'm compatible with Scorpios… and whatever his blood type is…_

**xxx**

"Hotaru."

Hotaru moved her arms away from her face, then looked up from the ground; her eyes still a little teary from the sewing club incident. She gave a smile to the tall young man standing in front of her. "Hey."

"Inoue gave this to me; I think this was supposed to be for you." Chad mumbled, reaching into his pocket and giving her the crumpled peachy-pink envelope.

Hotaru blinked; her hand shaking as she took the paper and opened it. Her brown eyes squinted as she read the cutesy writing. She laughed awkwardly blushing, "I-I think she's kidding…"

"What did it say?"

"N-nothing! Come on! I'll walk you home!"

"…Okay."

Hotaru and Chad walked out in silence, the girl was still pretty awkward thanks to Ishida and Orihime's letter sure didn't help. "So… how've… you been?"

"Okay. You?"

"Ummm…"

"did you talk to Ishida like you said you would?"

"….No."

"Why not?"

"…" Hotaru touched the back of her neck, grabbing at her orange locks before she started to pout. "Keigo kinda came in…"

"Oh."

"I-I will talk to him… J-just a lot… later."

"Why later?"

"…He doesn't want to talk to me."

"That's too bad…"

"B-but! I-I will… "

"That's good." Chad said with a smile, "I'm sure that he'd understand… whatever you did to upset him so much."

"…I hope so. Thanks."

**xxx**

_Chad is probably my best friend; apparently it's weird for girls to be friends with boys. It's even worse because I'm supposed to be sweet and lady like… like Inoue. I can't be Inoue._

_The reason why I say this, the way me and Chad became friends, it isn't sweet and lady like. It wasn't like in those shoujo manga I used to read; where we were friends ever since we could remember or we were both alone in the hallway and we had the same bento and we started to talk._

_No, he was being hassled by some punks. He wasn't fighting back, which… was strange. He was so big and tall and HUGE… he could've easily taken on those little pricks._

_I was on my way home from baseball practice, something I wish that I would get back into, and I hear noises and laughter. Not the nice laughter you get when you're all having fun, it was the "HAHAHA I LIKE IT WHEN HE FELL HAHAHA YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID." Thing you hear bullies do._

_I turn into an alleyway, Chad is being fucking beaten the shit out of… though he doesn't show any signs of pain or whatever._

_I don't know why but I joined the fight, I really should've used my baseball bat to scare them off… but knowing me I would've beaten the shit out of them with the bat._

_You know how people say that they wouldn't hit a girl? It's complete and utter bullshit, they said something along the lines of "Get out of here freak/girlie/cutie/girl etc. or we'll bust every bone in your body."_

_I was surprised they didn't try to rape me, what with the messed up porn we have here. But I'm honestly glad they didn't._

_I ignored their threats; I punched the lead guy in the throat then in the dick. Then someone grabbed me from behind and another one punched me in the gut. He kept at it before I kicked him in the jaw, I would've pulled a Tatsuki and flipped the guy holding me back, but I'm not in karate anymore._

_So then I tried pushing the guy into a wall or something, it didn't work that well either._

_Chad got the guy off my back, and punched him._

_The rest of the fight was glorious._

_And, it turns out; it was all over just a little coin. The coin must have been very special; I think I can understand that._

_I think my brother might have gotten along with him, if Ichigo was anything like me._

**xxx**

"I'm home." Hotaru shouted, flinging her bag across the floor before taking off her shoes. She heard quick and heavy footsteps running towards the door, she let out a sigh, squeezing her eyes shut as she kept her arms open for the person who was running.

"HOTARU~ WELCOME HOME~!" Isshin Kurosaki shouted, his eyes sparkling with sheer happiness as he flung his arms open and hugged his daughter tightly, until she turned black and blue from the lack of air.

"C-ca-can't… b-breathe…" she stammered, struggling to move her arms to try to beat some sense into her father.

"I just love you so much~!"

"I-I l-love you too… p-please!"

Isshin then let go of the gasping Hotaru whose banged up body hit the floor. He apologized with a laugh, as Hotaru's chocolaty eyes glared icy daggers up at him. "You came home late again."

"Y-yeah…"

"Did you get into any fights again?"

"N-no… it wasn't…that."

"DID SOME BOY SEDUCE YOU? STEALING MY PRECIOUS HOTARU-CHAN!"

"…"

"THEY DID!"

"N-no! I-I didn't get seduced! I-I was j-just…"

"YOU HESITATED!"

"NO I DIDN'T YOU JUST TOOK ME BY SURPRISE!"

Isshin stared hard at his daughter, who was sweating and shaking nervously. "You were watching some boy again weren't you?"

"N-NO! I-I WASN'T! "

This continued for a few more minutes, which ended with Isshin on the ground and Hotaru stomping off to her room. She slammed the door shut, slumping down against the closed door with a loud sigh. She closed her eyes as she slowly tugged off her black and red stockings off her slim legs.

She blinked, swearing that she saw something in her room. She looked up, jumping onto her bare feet and pointed at the figure on her bed.

"WHO ARE YOU? A ROBBER?" she shouted, grabbing the baseball bat under her desk.

"…I am no such thing."

"DON'T DENY IT! THERE'S NOTHING TO ROB!"

"…How are you even able to see me, human?"

"…Eh?"

"I asked how you're able to see me."

"…What do you mean? You're RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME!"

"… Humans shouldn't be able to see me."

Hotaru narrowed her eyes, pointing the aluminum bat at the strange man standing on her bed. He sighed, flipping his ebony black locks back, as he delicately and gracefully jumped off the bed. "Strange. It can't be helped; do you know what a Shinigami is, child?"

"I-I'm not a child! I'm fifteen! And I highly fucking doubt that you're a Shinigami! Get out of my house! Or I'll kick your ass, pretty boy!"

The man glared at the orange haired girl, sighing heavily and saying something that Hotaru could've sworn been an insult to her and her family, then he pointed two fingers at him. Hotaru wouldn't have any of that crap and went to hit the strange man, before she fell to the floor with a bang and she felt something wrap around her narrow wrists.

"What the fuck!"

"Kido."

"…What?"

"A spell, if you will."

"Well! Take it off me!"

"I will once you stop being an idiotic child."

"I'M NOT A KID AND GO FUCK YOURSELF JUST LET ME GO TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT IN THIS ROOM!"

Suddenly, Isshin opened the door, "WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS RACKET?"

"THERE'S A ROBBER!"

Isshin squinted, looking in the direction that Hotaru was before he came in. "I don't see anyone. And why are you on the ground?"

"N-never mind that! W-wait? You can't see him? He's right there!"

Isshin looked in the direction again, seeing absolutely nothing, "I don't see anything, Hotaru-chan. OH COULD IT BE A GHOST!" he said, suddenly excited. Hotaru blinked, glancing over at her father then at the so called Shinigami who was now right in front of her.

"G-ghost? O-okay… I…. GET OUT!" Hotaru stuttered before screaming when she saw her dad giggling, realizing that her flower printed panties were showing thanks to the position she seemed to be locked in. The mysterious man rolled his eyes as he watched the daughter and father continue to argue, he gently tapped the girl's chin with his foot before pushing her onto her side in boredom.

Isshin sighed before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him, "NOW LET ME FUCKING GO, WHATEVER YOU ARE!"

"I told you child, I'm a Shinigami."

"T-tell me your name!"

"Humans are really impolite these days aren't they?" the man said; his voice still flat and void of any sort of emotion. "But, I suppose I should tell you who I am anyways… Kuchiki Byakuya."

"…Lame name. Lemme guess, the kanji is 'Decaying log of the white night' isn't it?"

Byakuya's face twisted in anger for a split second, "I could just leave you like this… It's amusing."

"Fuck off."

"And what is your name, child?"

"…Kurosaki Hotaru."

"…Firefly."

"Better than yours."

Byakuya smirked, "You're amusing."

"You're annoying."

"I'm going to leave you like this."

"N-no! Let me go first! Whatever the hell you're doing with your ghostly powers!"

Hotaru sighed as she felt the pressure around her wrists ease into nothing; she let out a groan as she got onto all fours before sitting upright, her body stinging slightly from the uncomfortable position.

Something told her that life wasn't going to be a boring routine anymore after this.


	2. Surprise!

_I dream of butterflies and fireflies almost every night._

_Fireflies, it's what my name means. I can't help but wonder if I'm that narcissistic and egotistical to dream about my name sake, which I'm pretty sure that I'm not._

_Fireflies, an embarrassing thing really… what with it being a metaphor for passionate love… thanks to that stupid love poem. My dad told me when I was eleven that I was the proof and symbol of his true passionate love for my mother, along with my younger sisters of course. It's rather embarrassing…_

_The other meaning is a little sadder; these tiny beautiful little green glowing bugs are actually the souls of soldiers that died in the war._

_I can't help but accept both meanings._

_Butterflies, they can be used to symbolize many things… metamorphosis, love, innocence, death or freedom. I don't know why they show up in my dreams… they're always black. Aren't butterflies supposed to be brightly colored and beautiful to look at?_

_I once dreamt of this white and purple butterfly, unlike the black ones._

_I really don't know what's normal any more._

_And since when did I give a crap about this sort of thing?_

**xxx**

"You! Tell me what the hell you are and how the fuck you did that to me!" Hotaru screamed out, wobbling as she got onto her feet. She continued to glare up at this ghost-shinigami-devil-whatever, who seemed to be clicking his tongue; the look in those gray eyes seemed to tell her that he was judging her so hard from the décor.

"I told you, I am a Shinigami and I used Kido, Bakudo #1. Sai to be exact."

"W-what?"

Byakuya sighed heavily, "What's so hard to understand, child?"

"I-it's just… why are you here?"

The man shrugged, "Because of him," he sighed as he pulled out his sword and pointed at the old man that was standing beside Hotaru. "Among other things as well."

Hotaru turned, jumping at the sight, when did this guy start following her?

"I-I… don't want to go to hell!" the old man cried, getting on his hands and knees, begging and pleading Byakuya not to take him.

The girl could have sworn that Byakuya's lips almost curled into a reassuring smile, but with a blink it was gone and his cold expression was back on his face. "You won't be going to hell; you'll be going to Soul Society."

"W-what is… where is?"

"It's a peaceful place, "another smile spread across the raven haired man, and with those words he placed the blunt end of the sword on the soul's forehead.

A blue-white light engulfed the man, making Hotaru tremble slightly as she watched this soul disappear. A black butterfly appeared and gently flapped it's dark wings out of the window, Hotaru felt something stir inside of her.

She saw those butterflies before, she just didn't know where.

Hotaru sat down, a chill running through her body, what was happening?

"Don't look like that, I sent him to what you humans call 'heaven'. It's one of a Shinigami's duties," he sighed, his voice sounding tired and annoyed as if he had given this speech many, many times. He stared at Hotaru, taking note of how her lips were trembling and how those well manicured nails were digging into nearly flawless peachy skin.

"…Explain to me what a Shinigami's duties are, Byakuya-san," her voice was shaking as she spoke.

Byakuya smirked before sitting across from the teenager, and began to explain, "There are two kinds of spirits…"

Hotaru snorted, her brown eyes staring at the pathetic drawings; there was two 'cloud' shaped creatures with skinny limbs and simplistic faces. The one that the man was currently pointing at, the good one had a halo and a happy expression.

Byakuya pretended not to notice, "This, the most common spirit is called a probably know them better as ghosts."

Hotaru bit her lip hard at the other, her clenched fists shaking as her nails dug into her palms; the drawing had a cheesy 'evil expression with overly bushy eyebrows. She snorted again, her eyes watering up from trying to hold in her laughter.

"This is a Hollow, these spirits cause destruction as they attack humans and eat their souls," Byakuya sighed, closing his slate grey eyes, "Is there any questions, Kurosaki?"

Hotaru shut her eyes, sucking in a long and deep breath before flinging her hand and pointing at the sketchbook, "I only have one."

"And what is that?"

"Why do your drawings look like pieces of shit?" Hotaru was knocked over again, her arms being locked behind her and her wrists being bounded tightly. Byakuya stood up and made his way to her, kicking her in the side. "I-it was a joke! Please let me go!"

"No, you'll stay that way until I finish explaining," Byakuya was once again in his spot, "Shinigami have two duties…" he said coolly as he flipped another page with had another 'good' cloud-turd creature in a black space and there was squiggly lines that read SOUL BURIAL and a space that read SOUL SOCIETY with stars in the background. "To guide Pluses into Soul Society like you just saw a moment ago."

Hotaru bit her lip again, snorting as another page was flipped and revealed to her. There was another 'evil' turd with a giant red X over it's face, "And the other is to exterminate Hollows, and that was what my current mission is."

"Soo… why are you still here? G-go get it! Why are you loitering around here!"

Byakuya twitched, kicking Hotaru in the side again, "Because I had to explain myself to an idiot like you. And I can't feel its presence anymore. It's like an even greater spiritual pressure is blocking it…"

As if on cue, a loud roar rang throughout the area and Hotaru felt a great pressure building on her, another chill running through her soft body. "Did you not hear that?" she nearly screamed, her voice cracking.

"Hear what?"

"That huge voice? How couldn't you have heard it?"

Another roar was heard which was followed by a young girl's deafening scream. Hotaru instantly recongised that voice, it was her younger sister. Hearing it caused her to flop around on the floor in desperation to get out and save her sister, "Yuzu! W-what are you doing! W-was that a Hollow!" she screamed as she watched Byakuya run out of the room.

"Yes it was! Now stay here and I'll rid of it."

A dull thud was heard outside of Hotaru's room, the sight shocking the teen; a bloody Karin that was crawling towards her.

"G-good… it… didn't get you Hotaru."

"Karin! What happened?"

Karin tried to force a strong smile onto her face, but it just made the sight more painful for Hotaru, "Something attacked dad… a giant gash showed up on his back and he bled… Yuzu screamed…"

"Karin…"

"Then something… we couldn't see it… attacked us… I'm just so glad that you're okay."

Hotaru squirmed more, pulling harder and harder at her invisible bonds. She wanted to rush to Karin, and hold her and… She wanted to take that baseball bat and smash that Hollow's face in. "LET ME OUT!" she screamed until her voice was hoarse.

Byakuya looked over, seeing that Hotaru was managing to pull her arms apart, "What are you doing? You can't release yourself! Only a Shinigami can…" His eyes widened to see Hotaru rip through the bonds, "H-how? Y-your soul should have…"

Hotaru bolted towards Karin, knocking the man over; tears welled up in her harsh brown eyes as she gently brushed a now unconscious Karin's black hair out of her face. She winced as she saw a gash on the young girl's forehead, her fingers shaking violently as she ran them through Karin's hair which was sticky with blood.

The girl kissed her sister on the forehead before grabbing the baseball bat and bolting down the stairs. She ignored Byakuya's screaming, not caring if _she was just a human, it wasn't her job, her power has nothing on the Hollow and she'd kill herself._

She needed to save her family, and she would die in the process if she had to; as long as her father and sisters would be okay.

**xxx**

_FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!_

_HOW COULD I HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN!_

_OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD_

_Dad is knocked out, oh god… the blood… his coat is filthy with blood and…_

_Oh god Yuzu is screaming so loud…_

_I'LL KILL THAT FUCKER._

**xxx**

Hotaru skidded into the kitchen, seeing her younger sister in the claws of a monster. Her body was shaking with fear and rage; her blood was boiling yet freezing, her hands were gripping her bat so tightly that her knuckles were turning white; her heart was pounding so hard that she was surprised that it wasn't popping out of her chest.

She ran towards the beast, about to smash the aluminum bat into this Hollow's face. She wanted its brains to splatter on the wall, she wanted to kick those teeth in so hard that they'd shatter like glass; she was going to tear its limbs off.

She wanted to kill that motherfucker.

The Hollow simply swatted her away, a loud crack was heard through the air and a pain shot through Hotaru's chest (She didn't know that her one of her ribs had been broken). The wind was knocked out of her, and her head smacked hard against the wall. She shook as she tried to stand up, and started to run towards the Hollow again.

Suddenly Byakuya was in the air, his sword out once again and he slashed the Hollow's arm off, a deafening screech rang through the air as its black blood splashed everywhere like a geyser. Yuzu fell and Hotaru screamed before catching her.

She squeezed that small body, praying to God or whoever was up there that little Yuzu would be okay.

"Your family's souls haven't been eaten, don't lose focus! Pay attention, child!" Byakuya shouted, his voice booming with authority which instantly made Hotaru think for a moment.

"Wh-wha? M-my family is okay?"

"Yes, their souls are still intact."

"I thought Hollows attacked people to eat their souls! W-why did…"

"I've never seen a human with such a high spiritual pressure, Hotaru."

"What… what are you saying?"

"Hollows search for souls with high spiritual concentration."

"…Y-you can't mean…"

"Maybe the target was you."

Guilt. Rage. Sorrow.

Those three emotions were burning inside of Hotaru; her hands were clenching and releasing nothing. Deep and heavy breaths fell from her mouth.

Her family was hurt because _of her_. "So… this is all my fault."

Images of ten years ago played through her mind; she saw her beautiful mother's face, then saw the little girl at the edge of a cliff, and her running towards it to save the girl.

Next thing she knew, her mother was dead.

Hotaru ran outside, and stopped in front of the Hollow, Byakuya immediately following after her and screaming at her to stop and that that's not what he had meant.

"THAT'S ENOUGH YOU SON OF A BITCH," she screeched, her throat burned from all the screaming but she couldn't tone it down. She took a few more deep breaths that burned her throat and chest, she licked her dry lips, "You want my soul don't you?"

The Hollow tilted its head, its long tongue falling out of its mouth. It was dripping with saliva and made disgustingly thick, slick sounds with every movement. It licked its lips, and slowly made its way towards the girl.

"Yeah, that's right. You want to eat me," Hotaru laughed softly as she looked at the ground, then suddenly her head snapped forward, "THEN FIGHT ME FACE TO FACE! MY FAMILY OR THAT SHINIGAMI HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS! COME ON! TRY TO EAT MY SOUL!"

A sick laughter filled the air as the Hollow launched itself towards Hotaru, who was grinning wildly and flung her arms out.

"Idiot girl!" Byakuya growled under his breath and flung himself in front of the two, blood splattered between the Hollow's teeth and all over Hotaru.

**xxx**

_I used to have a phobia of blood, I couldn't handle any movies or TV shows that had blood._

_Just seeing that disgusting fluid made me sick, this repulsive feeling would fill me from the tips of my hair to my toes._

_I hated how it would be so runny and thin, then turn thick and sticky, and then it would become crusty and stain everything._

_I hated the taste of it, I hated the smell of it, and I hated the feeling of it._

_When I hit junior high, I realized how stupid this phobia was._

_There's nothing like a pocket knife to the shoulder that gets you over your blood phobia._

_Looks like I'm not entirely over it._

**xxx**

The sound of Byakuya's bones snapping under the strength of the Hollow's jaw sickened Hotaru, she shuddered at the sound of his flesh tearing and felt vomit coming up her mouth when she saw all the blood that spurted out of the man.

The Hollow laughed, spitting out the Shinigami on the ground.

"You idiot," Byakuya gasped out, "I told you. I told you that your power is nothing. _**Nothing**_ compared to that of a Hollow's. Did you seriously think that sacrificing your soul to that monster would simply solve everything?"

Hotaru fell onto her knees, "I-I… I'm sorry." she stammered, more guilt filled her. She didn't ask or plan on this Shinigami to fling himself in front of her.

"You really are just a stupid child," a chuckle passed through his lips which curled into a reassuring smile, "Do not worry about it… However…"

"W-what?"

"I can't fight the Hollow in this state…"

Hotaru swallowed, panic filling her. How was this Hollow going to be destroyed! Did they have to just sit and wait around for this Hollow to eat them? She felt sick, she felt hatred, and she felt helpless and worthless with every fiber of her body.

"Hey, child," Hotaru's head snapped towards Byakuya, who was still smiling gently, "Do you want to save your family?"

"Of course I do! I-is there a way? H-how! Tell me! Tell me… please!"

"There is only one way…"

"Yes? Yes?"

Byakuya pulled out his sword, the blade facing towards Hotaru.

"Become a Shinigami."


	3. All Just A Dream

_All I remember is how much my hands shook as I gripped that blade._

_All I remember is how the world turned into deafening silence and a blinding white._

_All I remember is the feeling of warm crimson splashing onto my skin._

_All I remember is the heaviness of my own blade._

_I don't remember much after that._

_I don't think I need to remember anything else about that day._

_**xxx** _

"B-become a Shinigami?" Hotaru screeched, her voice cracking; what the hell was Byakuya talking about? How was she supposed to become a Shinigami! Didn't you have to be… "You're telling me to kill myself!"

"Not necessarily, if you want to save your family, you'll take my suggestion."

Hotaru swallowed, "Of course I want to save my family! Are you fucking implying that I don't?" She screamed, her nails digging into her palms so hard that every layer of skin broke under the pressure and blood dripped from her nails.

Byakuya smiled, "So what are you going to do, child?"

The ground shook underneath them; vibrations ran up Hotaru's slim yet powerful legs and racked her body. She turned towards the Hollow, whose tail thrashed against a utility pole, the sound of the wood cracking echoed throughout the intense atmosphere and the power lines tore apart, sending white-blue sparks across the street.

A wicked grin spread across Hotaru's face, "I'll do it." She reached for the blade of the sword, the blood from her hands dripping onto the sword and running down the silvery white metal. She took a deep breath, being reminded of when she first met Chad and she took a pocket knife to the shoulder.

She was sure that it would only hurt just as much as it did then.

**xxx**

_I remember gripping that blade so tightly, that it cut into my hand, making my already bleeding hands gush out more and more blood._

_I remember pulling that blade towards my heart, pushing it past the fat, the muscle, the tendons, the cartilage and the bones protecting my pounding heart._

_I remember screaming as it sliced through every little nerve, every little strand of sinew and tissue and blood spurting out._

_I remember wondering why it didn't seem to hurt as much as I thought it would._

_I guess I was screaming because of the thought of stabbing myself with a sword is what terrified me. It's so dumb._

_Warmth and light filled me up from the inside; I remember feeling tired yet enlightened and all sorts of things. A mantra began to play through my mind as I started to black out, I'm sure that I'll forget all about this. I just know it.  
_ **xxx** __  


Black creeped its way from the corners of Hotaru's eyes, her whole body trembled as the blade had been pushed through her heart. Her eyes rolled back as a choked, gurgling sound escaped her mouth, blood pooled in her mouth and dribbled down her chin as her chest and hand wounds continued to gush out blood.

She fell back, marveling at how every single moment of her short fifteen years flashed before her chocolate eyes.

White spots bloomed in the darkness; it then bled across her vision like an old pen leaking ink all over a fresh new piece of loose leaf.

Only one thought played through Hotaru's mind, "So this is death."

**xxx**

_All I remember is how much my hands shook as I gripped that blade._

_All I remember is how the world turned into deafening silence and a blinding white._

_All I remember is the feeling of warm crimson splashing onto my skin._

_All I remember is the heaviness of my own blade._

_I don't remember much after that._

_I don't think I need to remember anything else about that day._

**xxx**

Hotaru drifted out from her dead body, panic bubbling in her heart as she saw all the blood pooling out around her and the empty look in her rolled back eyes. Her eyes flickered towards Byakuya, who nodded at her reassuringly; it was at that exact moment that she realized how heavy her arm felt. It wasn't unbearable; it was just like carrying two jugs of milk with one hand, she could deal with it.

She looked at what her now bandaged fingers were wrapped around; a large sword that reminded her of a blonde hero from a certain long running video game series. She gripped the handle tighter, hearing the breath of the Hollow get heavier and the ground shaking beneath her as it took slow deliberate and powerful steps towards her. She grimaced at the disgusting sound of its tongue dragging across its lips and teeth; if she didn't already want to kill this beast, that sound alone would have made her shred it into slivers of flesh and bone.

The Hollow growled louder once it was just a stone's throw away from getting to sink its teeth into the soft body of the girl, she was sure to be delicious with her massive amount of spiritual energy. It felt bloated from just being around this girl, it couldn't help but wonder how full and powerful it would feel after eating her. It was going to take its time eating her, not simply swallow her whole like other Hollows. She looked delicious and it was sure that she was going to taste just as delicious as she looked and felt.

The girl suddenly twirled in the direction that the Hollow was, her sword dragging across the cement and up towards the beast's front legs; a deafening screech rang through the blade, sending powerful vibrations through Hotaru's arms and it almost made her drop the blade.

She winced at the sound and at the sickening sight and sound of her metal snapping through its bone and flesh, black blood spurting out all over her equally black robes.

The Hollow thrashed about, its tail swinging towards her. She gasped; trying to get out of the way, only to stumble onto the ground, the tail hit her body and threw her against the cement wall. She saw stars explode in her eyes, obscuring her vision as she tried to get onto her feet.

"Hotaru! The head! Attack the head!"

She nodded at no one in particular, running towards the beast before jumping into the air. She pointed the blade downwards, praying to whatever God might be watching that the blade would pierce through the thick skull of the Hollow.

Another screech rang throughout the air, sending shockwaves of pain throughout everyone in the area.

The sword cracked its way past the skull, shattering the bone before hitting what could have been the Hollow's brain; a sickening gushing and popping sound slithered its way into Hotaru's ears as her sword tore through it, more and more black fluid spurting all over her. It pushed through the Hollow's mouth, tongue and jaw and stabbed into the ground.

The Hollow's tail twitched before it fell forward, its head sinking down more past the sword.

Hotaru made a face as she place a foot on the monster's head and pulled out her sword, making a spurting sound once it was out.

**xxx**

_All I remember is how much my hands shook as I gripped that blade._

_All I remember is how the world turned into deafening silence and a blinding white._

_All I remember is the feeling of warm crimson splashing onto my skin._

_All I remember is the heaviness of my own blade._

_I don't remember much after that._

_I don't think I need to remember anything else about that day._

**xxx**

Hotaru's eyes opened, all she saw was the ceiling above her. Was it all just a dream? Did she really kill herself to become a Shinigami? Was her family all well?

"HOOOOOOTAAAAAAAAARUUUUUU-CHAAAAAANNN~!"

She kicked off her sheets and swung her leg out, her foot smacking into her father's face and sending him across the room.

_Looks like it all was just a stupid, crazy dream after all._


End file.
